When Couples Go Dutch With The Bills

In a situation where couples go dutch with the bills, it is, to a large extent, considered a modern society thing. In the traditional man and woman relationship, there’s an unwritten agreement that the man is meant to cater for and take care of the woman. His inability to do that, is frowned upon in most societies and he is considered not-man-enough and immature. Most men don’t have a problem with this arrangement as it is seen as way of life, thus, they work very hard to be able to take care of a woman. However, in recent times, there’s been a whole of talk about the feminist movement – a clamor for equality in all ramifications.


The world would certainly be a better place if men and women were given equal opportunities and treated equally without bias and sentiments. In this regard, a school of thought is of the opinion that in order to buttress the fairness and equality theory, one party shouldn’t be made to cater to the needs of the other as that will be unfair to them – Men shouldn’t be expected to take responsibility of women. In other words, couples should go dutch with the bills. When it comes to this, most women who want equality, seem to grow defensive, for some reason, they want equality in all aspects of life but bills. In their argument, the role of a man in taking care of a woman isn’t included in the package as man was originally created to see to the needs of a woman.
Quite frankly, I find it distasteful to have a woman pay the bills either in full or half; one of the qualities of being a real man, entails one’s ability to take responsibility of a woman’s needs, especially one he is involved with in one way or the other – The need to be the provider is a biological default setting that is part of who we are as men, and I like to think that women enjoy being ‘chauffeured’ by men – that they like a gentleman who shows them care by providing.
Picture this – As a woman, you are at a restaurant with your man, and after eating or drinking, he brings out his own share of the bill, and asks you to bring yours. How would you feel? I’m yet to witness such a scenario, but I’m convinced that it’d seem weird even to onlookers. Certain things are just the way they are and cannot be changed. Even when couples go dutch with the bills, in the name of civilization and modernity, I believe that somewhere inside of them, they’ll feel the awkwardness of what they are doing.
My argument does not in any way kick against a woman offering to help out sometimes – If she offers to take care of the bills, without the man asking her for money, and he accepts her offer, it’s understandable, but it becomes a no-no for me if she brings half of it and asks the man to complete it. Who does that?
Do I think it’s cool for couples to go dutch with the bills? No. My opinion may be considered old-school but that’s it. Feel free to share your thoughts on the subject – I’d love to know if I’m the only one with an outdated mentality.


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  • Going Dutch shouldn't be mandatory but voluntary. Couples don't need to have a timetable for that. Sometimes both parties could decide to contribute to the bill out of their own will.

  • It's not a competition. A man taking care of the woman has always been the norm and nothing can change that. I'm a woman and without it being up for discussion, my man takes the front seat in settling our bills. I'm a working class woman but that doesn't change a thing.

  • A man should pay the bills especially when he's capable. The going Dutch thing may be applicable elsewhere but not here in Nigeria or Africa as a whole. Like the writer said, some things are just the way they are.

  • If the woman is in a better position to pay, I see nothing wrong with her doing it but she shouldn't rub it in the man's face.

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